


we should leave our lovers (and be with one another)

by alyciatheist



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 21:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9678017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyciatheist/pseuds/alyciatheist
Summary: ‘’Betty was going to be a River Vixen, she was going to the back-to-school dance with her friends. She was going to finally tell Archie how she really felt about him and it was going to be perfect. It had to be. No one was going to ruin that. Not, Cheryl with her dark red hair that fell lazily around her even more perfect body, a bored gaze ready to end you at any given moment.Especially not Cheryl.’’Or your typical ''we fucked up but i still love you.'' AU





	

**Author's Note:**

> for gigi and anna

 

_two roads diverged in a yellow wood,_   
_and sorry I could not travel both_

It was cold, mid-January with snow visibly on the ground near the spot Betty had sat down. Her phone lay cold against her ear, her hands shaky. She was going to get a cold tomorrow but that was the least of her worries right now.

A voice was filling her ears like maybe a prayer; at first it was just mumblings and then all at once the voice was clear. ‘’I’m so sorry I called you.’’

‘’Are you okay?’’ She asked. It wasn’t usual for the other girl to call her like this. Or in fact this was the first time the girl had called her in ages.’’ There was a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, that feeling of almost missing a step while walking down a staircase. That absolute moment of that terrified feeling of being in the balance of utter steadiness and falling down.    


She wasn’t sure what it was going to be tonight.  If this phone call meant she was going to fall down or if it was meant to keep her steady. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for either. Not again.

‘’I’m not sure why I called.’’ Cheryl whispered softly. Betty could tell that even though they were in completely different places, the other girl too, was as cold as she was. The other girl too, had sat down on an empty place holding a phone cold against her ear, keeping it steady with shaky hands. 

It was comforting, and terrifying in a way; the way two people can be different in every sense of the world but still be somewhat the same person. 

‘’Don’t hang up.’’ It almost came out as a plea. It  wasn’t supposed to sound _ this _ desperate because she had promised herself a long time ago that it didn’t matter anymore. That whatever was left between them was supposed to make her cold. But how are you supposed to be cold about a person that once made your heart burn inside of you with an intensity you didn’t even know existed.

‘’I should.’’ It came out with a sigh. Or at least, that’s how it had sounded like. But maybe everything the other girl said came out like that. A certain exhaustion that shouldn’t be found in girls like her. 

_ Girls like her. _ Hot and cold, pushing and pulling you apart as if every bone inside of you were nothing but strings that were meant to be tugged at.

Fair enough, she never gave her anything in either. Maybe that was the problem with people sometimes, the waiting for other people to give. We’re all  too scared to give first because somewhere along the way we already gave away too much. Maybe there was never anything left to give in the first place.

So life is stuck at a never ending wait for people to give trust, love, an honest conversation or about anything in between.

‘’What are you doing?’’ she asked. She knew she had to fill the silence because if she didn’t she would be pushed right back to where they had ended years ago.

‘’It’s my birthday,’’ Cheryl said. It almost had sounded as if she was still trying to figure out if that was a good or bad thing. ‘’I was just thinking how unfair it is that I get to celebrate this miserable day all by myself while Jason’s body is rotting somewhere far away.’’

The older girl was rambling and Betty knew all too well what that meant.

‘’You’re drunk.’’ It wasn’t a question.

‘’I miss you.’’ 

_ Silence. _

‘’Me too,’’ Betty sighed at last.

Their relationship had been complicated with ups but too many downs. They were never meant to be together and that’s exactly what Cheryl had said two years ago. It had also been a winter night, just colder. Or maybe it hadn’t been at all, it had just felt like it.

The older girl had rambled and ended it before Betty could utter a single word. It was abrupt, too abrupt for Betty to have ever  _ really  _ processed it. So she was left with a  _ you deserve better _ forced down her throat and with the jagged edges of a key to what was supposed to be their own apartment digging into her bloodied palm.

She never told Cheryl of course. It had become just another embarrassing memory shoved down deep inside of her. 

A group of people walked past her and she briefly wondered what meant to be was even supposed to mean. Or why one person gets to decide if something is or isn’t while the other is just left in the cold all together.

‘’I miss you,’’ Cheryl said again. ‘’I miss the way things were before things got complicated. Sometimes I—’’’ 

She didn’t finish her sentence and in a way Betty was glad she didn’t.

_ Not meant to be.  _ It left a sour taste in her mouth. Just because something isn’t meant to be doesn’t mean it can’t exist.

We’re not the people we were yesterday because if we had chosen differently yesterday, today could’ve been entirely different. She wasn’t the person she was two years ago either because if she had chosen differently then she wouldn’t have sat here in the cold hanging onto something that had slipped away years ago. 

It’s a leap of faith. To believe that whatever kind of person they were back then could have made it work. It was never about being meant to be at all, it was about trust. 

And Betty had given plenty away to the older girl. Maybe even too much.

‘’Not meant to be, remember?’’ That had sounded more bitter than she had intended it to be. 

‘’Does he love you?’’ Cheryl asked then after a long pause.  _ The way I do,  _ had lingered on her lips for a few minutes but she knew better than that.

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Do you love him?’’ Cheryl then asked.

‘’You know that’s not fair,’’’ Betty replied. ‘’You can’t just walk out of my life like that, not talk to me for over two years and ask me  _ that _ .’’

‘’It’s just a simple question.’’ 

‘’No it wasn’t,’’ Betty sighed. ‘’You know it wasn’t.’’

Nothing was ever simple with Cheryl.  In fact everyone knew the Blossoms were like poison roses in the garden of Riverdale and no one wanted to get pricked on those venomous thorns. Betty knew that, her sister Polly knew that, her entire family knew. 

She had lost her way in the garden of poison roses a long time though but was it really poison if it had felt that good? Her mother would have argued against it, that much she at least knew.

Riverdale High wasn’t quite the same as she had imagined it to be like after she returned at sixteen. It was almost as if everything had suddenly changed over the summer.

It was an absurd thought, of course nothing had changed. Betty however, had. It was different back then;  turning sixteen and then having spent a whole summer away from her friends, away from Archie. It had changed her somehow. 

Maybe she just felt like her entire life was about to start. Th _ e important  _ part of her entire life, that is. She knew it was going to be stressful but she also knew she was somehow going to make it through. With one hand gripping the bottle of adderall and the other holding onto Archie's.

_ Archie.  _ He surely wasn’t at all the way she had left him. His body had transformed to almost something godlike, his childish features long gone. It almost hurt looking into his eyes.

Not that it mattered much as his eyes were occupied with the new girl anyway.  _ Veronica Lodge _ . Raven-haired, eyes dark but determined. She wasn’t at all like Betty. 

Not at all like Cheryl either. Losing her brother wasn’t the only thing that had changed the older girl that summer. Her dark red hair fell lazily around her even more perfect body, a bored gaze ready to end you at any given moment. She was a walking cliché of a gorgeous mean girl. 

Cheryl hated her but never said so in many words. Cheryl was good at that too, never saying too much while still knowing you knew exactly how she _ really _ felt about you.

''...Of course, anyone's welcome to try-out, but Betty's already got so much on her plate, and being a Vixen is kind of a full-time thing. But whatevs,'' the girl had said. 

Along with Veronica’s ‘’What’s the worst that could happen’’ 

A kiss maybe. Her  _ first  _ kiss. 

She imagined her first kiss would be with Archie after spending time together on a well thought through romantic date. He’d take her hand and confess his undying love for her. Maybe he’d even sing her a song.

Yet here she was in the stinky gymnasium of Riverdale High, having her first real kiss stolen by a pretty raven-haired girl.

A  _ girl. _

Cheryl hadn’t been impressed by Veronica’s racy plan at all though. Instead she began asking Betty about Polly and Jason. In a way everything always circled back to Cheryl’s brother and Betty’s sister. Maybe they were just doomed from the start. All four of them.

Her hand was bleeding by the time Cheryl was done trying to rip her into pieces. She didn’t know she still had that much anger inside of her. Her mother had made sure of that. 

But there was. Even then, there was.

She made herself snap out of it as quick as she had snapped into it and apologized instead. It had taken Cheryl by surprise and maybe that had been worth it all along.

''Betty, better luck next time,'' Cheryl then said sharply; a look that made Betty almost shiver. She sighed, she was exhausted and just wanted to get out of there.

In the end though, Veronica had stood up for her and had made sure they were both chosen. Betty wasn’t sure why she had done that, not that it mattered that much. She liked the new girl, in a way it almost felt like they had been friends since forever.

It’s rare to already know a friendship is going to blossom into something really great. She wasn’t going to let Cheryl ruin that for her. Not even her mother was going to ruin that now. 

_ (''Girls like Cheryl and Veronica Lodge, they don't like—’’) _

But Betty didn’t care because she hadn’t felt this good since forever and no one was going to ruin that. She was going to be a River Vixen, she was going to the back-to-school dance with her friends. She was going to finally tell Archie how she  _ really  _ felt about him and it was going to be perfect. It had to be.

The gymnasium was decorated with streamers and lights as she, Veronica and Archie arrived arm-in-arm later that night. 

Betty wants to step in and dance with Archie but before anything can remotely happen he excuses himself and is gone before she can even utter a word. 

The second time they actually do dance, but Archie’s thoughts are all over the place and as soon as she tried to open up a conversation Reggie drunkenly smashes into them, ending the moment before it could happen at all.

But, the night isn’t over yet and she knows she will have plenty of time left at Cheryl’s after party.

Cheryl’s house is extremely big and extremely loud and Betty wished she hadn't come in the the first place. But Veronica was sitting besides her and Archie was nearby so maybe it wasn’t that bad.

Cheryl walked towards them, her body tightly fit in a red dress that made her perfect body look even more perfect. Betty shook her head lightly, the red-haired girl really had it all.

''We're going old-school tonight. Seven Minutes in Heaven,'' the red-haired girl said then. ‘’Who wants to tryst in the closet of love first? My vote is A for Archie.’’

Betty knew the inevitable was going to happen. The bottle was going to land on someone that wasn’t her. She knew it was a game but it stung all the same, especially when the bottle ended up spinning towards Veronica.

‘’It’s clearly pointing to the new girl,’’ Cheryl said, a satisfied smile on her face. ‘’That should be fun.’’

It was either Veronica or Cheryl and in retrospect she would have had done the same thing Veronica had done. That however, didn’t mean she wasn’t upset and angry about it at that point.

She needed to get out of here, and fast.

‘’Oh sweet, Betty, did you really think there wouldn’t be a price to pay?’’ Cheryl teased standing in front of the door, blocking Betty from getting out.

‘’Get out of my way, Cheryl,’’ Betty demanded, she was angry and wanted to cry at the same time and she wasn’t sure how to handle either.

Cheryl’s eyes shifted and suddenly her satisfied smile was replaced with something Betty couldn’t quite put her finger on yet. ‘’You should actually be thankful Betty. In a way I was just trying to help you.’’

‘’Well I don’t need your help,’’ Betty said angrily, pushing Cheryl out of her way. 

She thought inhaling the fresh air outside would somehow calm her down but it only suffocated her even more. She walked for what seemed like hours and ended up at Archie’s porch. She wasn’t even sure why she even bothered at all. Veronica was supposed to be her friend. Archie was supposed to be her friend. Everyone was supposed to be something. Anything. But things never quite seemed to work out the way she wanted it to work out.

Archie walked up at last, exhausted but somewhat wired. She was stuttering words, looking at her friend for anything but he didn’t seem to get it at all.

‘‘I'm asking you now, right now, if you love me, Archie?''

Of course he did, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the way she wanted him to love her.

''You're so perfect, Betty, I'd never be  _ good  _ enough for you. I've never been  _ good _ enough for you,'' he said. 

Betty’s eyes were filled with tears once again that night, the cold making her shiver. They were staring at each other and it was a heartbreaking sight. The truth was out in the open, with no way to ever take it back. 

It wasn’t even about Archie being good enough for her, it was about someone finally  _ choosing  _ her. For someone to want her as much as she wanted that person. In retrospect, her life was about to change in unexpected ways. In a way, it already had that night.

Maybe it was never really about Archie at all.

In this precise moment, her cold shaky hands holding her phone, snow visibly on the ground at the spot she had sat down mid-January, she knew it was never about Archie. 

There was a silence and Betty briefly wondered if Cheryl had hung up. She wasn’t sure why it made her slightly disappointed. It would have been for the better, Betty knew that too.

Maybe the older girl was the sun and she was the stars in the galaxy; meant to exist at the same time but never meant to be with one another at the same time.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ Cheryl said then for the third time that night. ‘’I’m so sorry, Betty. I never meant for anything to happen.’’

‘’Between us?’’ Betty asked. ‘’Is that it?’’ 

‘’That’s n—’’ Cheryl started but Betty didn’t even let her finish her sentence.

‘’Did I even mean anything to you at all, Cheryl?’’ Betty asked, she felt herself getting angry and she knew she should have hung up by then. But she needed to know. Maybe this was going to be the last time she was ever going to talk to her again. In a sense, it was now or never. ‘’You know Jason never gave a shit about my sister.’’

‘’I’m not my brother,’’ Cheryl said, not entirely answering Betty’s question.

‘’But in the end you’re still a Blossom, whether you like it or not.’’ Betty said. She knew she was reaching thin ice and knew it wasn’t fair towards the older girl.

‘’I never meant to hurt you,’’ Cheryl said, ignoring Betty’s remark. ‘’I still don’t.’’

‘’If you don’t then you shouldn’t have called,’’ Betty replied bitterly, her words sounding like something between a plea and an accusation.‘’You shouldn’t have reached out.’’

‘’Right,’’ Cheryl sighed. She was debating if she was going to say something else but realized that maybe it didn’t really matter anymore.

‘’Goodnight Cheryl,’’’ Betty said, a tear was falling down her cold cheek. 

‘’I’m in town,’’ Cheryl then suddenly said; just because it didn’t matter, doesn’t mean she can’t at least say it. ‘’I came back.’’ Cheryl continued, taking a long breath.

‘’I.. I came back for you, Betty.'' __  
  



End file.
